🎯 Quick Overview
Trailer
- Director: Barry Skolnick
- Genre: Crime, Drama, Sport, Comedy
- Release year: 2001
- Runtime (length): 1h 39min
- IMDb rating: 6.4/10 (43K votes)
- Rotten Tomatoes: None
😅 Plot Summary – Badly Explained
A disgraced soccer star gets sent to prison and decides the best way to get back at the guards is… a friendly game of footie, because that’s how you solve all your problems, innit?
🍿 Mean Machine: Detailed Plot Synopsis
Disgraced Football Star
Danny ‘Mean Machine’ Meehan, a former England captain, faces a career-ending scandal. After a drunken night, he assaults police officers and lands himself in prison, a stark contrast to his former life of fame and adoration. His past actions haunt him, as fellow inmates and even some guards harbor resentment for his misdeeds on the field.

A Match Behind Bars
The prison governor, seeing an opportunity for personal gain, proposes a football match between the inmates and the guards. Meehan is pressured to coach the prisoners’ team, a task he initially resists. However, he soon realizes that this match could be a chance for redemption and a way to unite the prisoners against their oppressive keepers.

Training and Team Building
Meehan faces challenges in assembling a competent team from the diverse and often unruly prison population. He enlists the help of Doc, an older inmate, and together they identify players with hidden talents. Training is fraught with difficulties, as the prisoners must overcome their personal rivalries and learn to work together as a team. Tensions rise as the guards attempt to sabotage their efforts.

⚠️ Spoilers and Ending Explained
🎬 Cast & Characters
- Danny Meehan (Vinnie Jones): A disgraced ex-England football captain who lands in jail and leads the prisoners’ team against the guards.
- Doc (David Kelly): An elderly inmate who becomes a mentor and trusted friend to Danny, offering wisdom and support.
- Governor (David Hemmings): The corrupt and ruthless prison governor who orchestrates the football match for his own personal gain.
- Burton (Ralph Brown): A sadistic prison guard who enjoys abusing the inmates and serves as a primary antagonist.
- Monk (Jason Statham): A dangerous and unpredictable inmate who becomes the goalkeeper for the prisoners’ football team.
💬 Memorable Quotes
- Danny Meehan: “I used to be somebody.” – Danny reflects on his fallen status as a disgraced ex-England captain upon entering prison.
- Doc: “Apparently he killed 23 men with his bare hands.” – Doc describes the Monk’s intimidating reputation.
- Danny Meehan: “Maybe I should take up karate.” – Danny jokes about needing to learn martial arts after hearing about Monk’s violent past.
- Doc: “That was before he took up karate.” – Doc responds to Danny’s comment.
💰Box Office
- Budget: £2,500,000
- Domestic Gross: $92,770
- Worldwide Gross: $7,310,206
💥 Mean Machine Reviews
Personal Review
I found Mean Machine surprisingly enjoyable! Vinnie Jones does a solid job as the lead, and the supporting cast is fantastic. The whole concept of a prison football match is ridiculous, but the movie embraces the absurdity and delivers some great laughs and surprisingly tense moments. The game itself is exciting and well-done. It’s not high art, but if you’re looking for a fun, silly sports movie, this hits the spot. I have to admit, I replayed a lot of key scenes
- Who would enjoy:
- “Fans of British crime comedies”
- “Viewers interested in sports movies with a prison setting”
- “Those who enjoy films starring Vinnie Jones and Jason Statham”
- Content warnings ⚠:
- “Violence”
- “Strong language”
- “Some drug use”
Professional Reviews
- IMDB: “Mean Machine delivers a familiar plot with a British twist. The cast shines, especially Vinnie Jones, and while it doesn’t break new ground, it offers enough laughs and action to entertain. Just don’t expect a masterpiece.
- User Reviews: “A great all British cast and a great all British sport, being British and a great lover of Manchester United, i was up for this film and it didn’t diasappoint me in the slightest. Vinnie Jones was brilliant as Danny Meehan and Jason Statham as the ‘Monk’ was simply classic vintage stuff. The match is what the watchers of this film want to see and it is fantastically constructed, just one tip of advice, don’t p*** of the ‘Monk’.
Audience Reactions
Many viewers found the final soccer match to be the most entertaining and exciting part of the movie.: The film blends humor and action effectively, making it a worthwhile watch for fans of British cinema.
Overall Consensus: Mean Machine is a fun, if somewhat predictable, sports comedy with a strong British cast and a memorable prison football match.
Awards
🛠️ Behind the Scenes
- “The film is a remake of the 1974 American film ‘The Longest Yard,’ substituting American football with association football (soccer).”
- “Vinnie Jones, despite being born in England, chose to play for Wales in real life, qualifying through his Welsh grandfather.”
- “Jason Statham’s character, Monk, was originally intended to have a larger role, but his scenes were cut down in the final edit.”
🖥️ How to Watch Mean Machine?
Mean Machine is available for streaming and purchase on various platforms. You can find it on demand on services like Amazon Prime Video where you can rent or buy it. It’s also often available for purchase on platforms such as Apple TV. Check local listings as availability may vary by region.

🎥 Similar Movies
If you enjoyed Mean Machine, you might like these similar films:
- The Longest Yard (1974): The original film with a similar plot, focusing on American football instead of soccer.
- Escape to Victory (1981): A World War II-era film where Allied prisoners of war play a soccer match against a German team.
- Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998): Similar British crime film with dark humor and a cast including many of the same actors.
- The Football Factory (2004): Captures the raw and often violent side of British football culture.
🛒 Mean Machine Related Products
- Mean Machine [DVD]: Own the movie on DVD and relive the laughs and action anytime! Features extra behind the scenes footage.
- Football Flick Urban Skills Set – Improve Your Football Skills At Home!: Bring out your inner footballer with a football skills and training set, ideal for honing your touch, reaction time, and overall skills. Rebounder and target goals included.
- Vinnie Jones: My Autobiography: Get inside the mind of Vinnie Jones with his autobiography. From his days as a hard-tackling footballer to his acting career, discover the man behind the mean machine.
- Jason Statham Movie Collection [Blu-ray]: Relive Monk’s performance in a collection featuring Jason Statham’s greatest hits. Experience non stop action and excitement.
🎧 Soundtrack
Mean Machine features a captivating soundtrack that enhances the movie’s atmosphere and emotional impact. Here are some notable tracks:
You can find the complete soundtrack on Amazon Music and Apple Music.
🤨 FAQ
No, Mean Machine is not based on a true story. It is a remake of the 1974 film, The Longest Yard, starring Burt Reynolds. While the film explores themes of redemption and camaraderie, the specific events are fictional.
Mean Machine was primarily filmed in the United Kingdom. Specific locations included HM Prison Oxford and various other locations in and around London.
Mean Machine blends elements of both comedy and drama. While it features moments of humor and lightheartedness, it also explores serious themes of redemption, violence, and corruption within the prison system. The overall tone leans towards a gritty, action-oriented dramedy.
🔥 Bonus Content
The Monk Best Bits 1
Remember ‘The Monk’ from Mean Machine? This video is a hilarious compilation of his best moments! Honestly, some of these scenes are comedy gold, you have to check it out.
Mean Machine – Monk’s dance
Ever seen Jason Statham dance? This short clip from Mean Machine features ‘The Monk’ showing off his moves. It’s unexpectedly funny, definitely worth a quick watch!
The Monk Kickass Goalkeeper (Mean Machine)
Check out The Monk in action as a goalkeeper in Mean Machine! It’s a quick, funny scene that perfectly captures his character’s unpredictable nature. You gotta see this!
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