🎯 Quick Overview
Trailer
- Director: Peter Atencio
- Genre: Action, Comedy
- Release year: 2023
- Runtime (length): 1h 52min
- IMDb rating: 5.7/10 (18K votes)
- Rotten Tomatoes: 22%
😅 Plot Summary – Badly Explained
A shirtless comedian and his dad get kidnapped by Russians because of a college party mishap, and somehow family therapy ensues with explosions.
🍿 The Machine: Detailed Plot Synopsis
The Stand-Up and the Setup
Bert Kreischer, playing a fictionalized version of himself, performs his infamous ‘Machine’ routine, recounting a college experience in Russia involving the mafia. This routine catches the attention of a powerful gangster who believes Bert stole a valuable heirloom years ago. The film quickly establishes Bert’s public persona versus his personal struggles with family, creating a contrasting dynamic.

Kidnapping and Return to Russia
Bert’s personal life is disrupted when Irina, a woman connected to the Russian gangster, appears and forces Bert and his estranged father, Albert (Mark Hamill), to return to Russia to retrieve the stolen item. This sets the stage for a series of chaotic events and forces Bert to confront his past actions. The journey to Russia becomes a forced family bonding experience under duress.

Reliving the Legend
The film utilizes flashbacks to show Young Bert’s (Jimmy Tatro) college escapades in Russia, highlighting how his drunken antics led to his accidental involvement with the mafia and the creation of ‘The Machine’ persona. These flashbacks contrast with present-day Bert, who is struggling to reconcile his wild past with his responsibilities as a father and husband.

⚠️ Spoilers and Ending Explained
🎬 Cast & Characters
- Bert Kreischer (Bert Kreischer): A comedian whose past drunken escapades in Russia come back to haunt him when he and his father are kidnapped.
- Albert (Mark Hamill): Bert’s estranged father who is skeptical of his son’s ‘Machine’ story and is unwillingly dragged into the chaos.
- Young Bert (Jimmy Tatro): A college-aged version of Bert who earns the nickname ‘The Machine’ during a semester abroad in Russia.
- Irina (Iva Babic): A determined woman who kidnaps Bert and his father to retrieve a stolen family heirloom.
- Alexei (Robert Maaser): Irina’s brother and a formidable enforcer in their family’s criminal organization.
- LeeAnn (Stephanie Kurtzuba): Bert’s wife who struggles with his immature antics and prioritizes the well-being of their daughters.
- Igor (Nikola Djuricko): A former criminal associate of Bert’s who has reformed and now lives a peaceful life with his family.
💬 Memorable Quotes
- Bert: “I am the Machine!” – Bert’s famous persona, often shouted when he’s about to engage in wild, unpredictable behavior, fueled by alcohol.
- Albert: “I can’t believe I’m doing this with my son.” – Albert says this sarcastically while getting kidnapped and dragged into Bert’s mess.
- Bert: “I’m inside him. He’s so warm.” – Bert hilariously says this non-sensical line when hiding inside a dead animal carcass.
- Bert: “I’m the motherfucking Machine!” – Bert exclaims this after downing a handle of vodka, fully embracing his ‘Machine’ persona to fight the gangsters.
💰Box Office
- Budget: $20,000,000
- Domestic Gross: $10,458,331
- Worldwide Gross: $10,664,328
💥 The Machine Reviews
Personal Review
I went into this movie expecting a silly, over-the-top comedy, and that’s exactly what I got. Bert Kreischer is hilarious, and Mark Hamill’s surprisingly funny. The action scenes are ridiculous, but in the best way. I laughed out loud multiple times. It’s not going to win any awards, but if you’re looking for a fun, mindless movie, ‘The Machine’ delivers. I was definitely entertained, especially during the drinking scene! The ending was a bit predictable, but it didn’t ruin the overall experience.
- Who would enjoy:
- “Fans of Bert Kreischer’s comedy”
- “Viewers who enjoy action comedies”
- “Those looking for a light-hearted, raunchy movie”
- Content warnings ⚠:
- “Strong language”
- “Drug use”
- “Graphic violence”
- “Sexual content”
Professional Reviews
- Screen Rant: “While ‘The Machine’ boasts a few genuinely funny moments, it struggles to balance its comedic and action elements, resulting in a somewhat uneven viewing experience. Hamill’s presence is a plus, but the film ultimately feels like a stretched-out stand-up bit.
- Roger Ebert: “The Machine is a fairly standard action-comedy vehicle, but Kreischer’s natural charisma shines through, and the supporting cast helps elevate the material, even when the plot meanders into absurdity. It’s not high art, but it’s a fun distraction.
Audience Reactions
The over-the-top action sequences and Bert’s physical comedy had audiences roaring.: Most viewers agreed that the movie was a fun, lighthearted escape, especially for fans of Bert Kreischer’s stand-up.
Mark Hamill’s comedic timing and unexpected role brought a lot of laughs.: Many viewers were pleasantly surprised by Hamill’s performance and how well he played off Kreischer.
Overall Consensus: A divisive but entertaining action-comedy, ‘The Machine’ is best enjoyed by fans of Bert Kreischer who appreciate his brand of humor and don’t mind a healthy dose of absurdity.
Awards
🛠️ Behind the Scenes
- “The film is based on Bert Kreischer’s stand-up routine, ‘The Machine’, which recounts a real-life incident during a college trip to Russia.”
- “Bert Kreischer’s real-life wife, LeeAnn Kreischer, makes a cameo appearance as the mom at the Sweet 16 party, a role in which she and Bert do not get along.”
- “The movie incorporates many Easter eggs for fans of Bert Kreischer’s comedy, including references to ‘Tom is Fat’ graffiti seen in some scenes.”
🖥️ How to Watch The Machine?
The Machine is currently available for purchase or rental on various platforms such as Prime Video, Apple TV, Google Play Movies, and Vudu. Check your local listings for cable on-demand options. Streaming availability may vary by region.

🎥 Similar Movies
If you enjoyed The Machine, you might like these similar films:
- The Hangover (2009): Both films feature a group of guys getting into crazy, often dangerous, situations due to drunken antics and memory loss.
- Get Him to the Greek (2010): Features a chaotic journey with a larger-than-life, often self-destructive personality, similar to Bert’s ‘Machine’ persona.
- Hot Fuzz (2007): While tonally different, it shares the blend of action and comedy, with over-the-top fight scenes.
- Tag (2018): A group of friends engages in increasingly outrageous behavior, showcasing commitment to their unconventional lifestyle.
🛒 The Machine Related Products
- Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle [DVD]: Relive the stand-up special that inspired ‘The Machine’ with Bert Kreischer’s hilarious storytelling and physical comedy, perfect for fans wanting more of his signature humor.
- The Machine Bert Kreischer T-Shirt: Show your love for the movie with this official ‘The Machine’ T-shirt, featuring iconic imagery and quotes from the film. Wear it to stand-up shows or casual outings.
- Russian Standard Vodka: Embrace the spirit of ‘The Machine’ with Russian Standard Vodka, a premium spirit made with high-quality ingredients for a smooth, authentic Russian vodka experience. (Please drink responsibly).
- Autographed Bert Kreischer Poster: Own a piece of movie history with a limited edition poster of ‘The Machine’, personally autographed by Bert Kreischer. A valuable addition to any comedy fan’s collection.
🎧 Soundtrack
The Machine features a captivating soundtrack that enhances the movie’s atmosphere and emotional impact. Here are some notable tracks:
You can find the complete soundtrack on Amazon Music and Apple Music.
🤨 FAQ
The Machine is loosely based on a stand-up routine by Bert Kreischer, which recounts a real-life experience he had in Russia during college. However, the film takes significant creative liberties with the story for comedic and dramatic effect.
The cast includes Bert Kreischer as himself, Mark Hamill as Albert Kreischer, Jimmy Tatro as Young Bert, and Iva Babic as Irina. Other notable actors include Stephanie Kurtzuba and Robert Maaser.
The Machine was filmed in various locations, including Belgrade, Serbia, which served as a stand-in for Russia. This provided the film with authentic Eastern European visuals.
🔥 Bonus Content
Why I Am Famous
Want to know the crazy true story behind ‘The Machine’? Bert Kreischer’s hilarious stand-up about robbing a train in Russia is wild! Honestly, after seeing this, the movie makes so much more sense.
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